This is unedited so please don’t mind any repetitions or mistakes and this is my first time writing. I recently began to accept iMessage game offers on twitter and I have come to realize many things, one of which is the fact that I have been a local champion for too long and have only been playing with people who are not as good as myself.
I have also realized how much toxic masculinity has eaten deep into our society. Because I meet many of them online, there’s a possibility that we are not aware of our genders and we may not want to ask.
When we are playing, we sometimes chat in between games and sometimes receive how are you, how was your night instead of messages like: “how far, “how you dey”, “how your side which we have been programmed to to say as boys.
Usually I am forced to find a way to make it known that I am guy and not a girl, not because I am homophobic but because it is something weird when boys express emotions and show serious concern to another boy so I immediately assume they think I’m the opposite sex. What should be normal is now weird.
This morning, I woke up to a message from a guy who I started playing with yesterday, i can’t remember the exact message but it was something like how was your night or did you sleep well? I replied and we had a short conversation about how the night went, how long we slept etc. I was still assuming this guy thought I was a girl and can’t explain the relief I felt when he asked me for the hostel stay in (we are in the same school) after telling him, I thought his tone was going to change or he was going to stop chatting in between messages but it didn’t and that was when I decided to write this.
Sometimes last year, a roommate and I went to see the popular black panther when it came out, we spent frustrating hours outside because the time we had scheduled to watch it was already sold out and we were tired by the time we
returned. When we got to the front of the hostel, I asked him if he had a nice time and with his reaction, I thought I had said something else. I got replies like “how will you ask me that type of question, are you gay?”
He entered the room and told everyone that I asked him if he had a nicebtime.
I was not really bothered even though he was always telling everyone that I asked him if he had a nice time for a long like I had asked for his hand in marriage. That is just one out of many examples of issues have faced for asking simple questions. Maybe we need boys to ask more of how are you or how have you been’ I feel it shows more sincerity than asking how far or ‘how you dey I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with asking that. Maybe we should teach boys to express concern and emotions other than anger.
by AdedamolaTags: Homosexuality, Masculinity, non fiction